honey do

There are reasons I'd like a man around my house and sex is not in the top five. As a single woman, a man with mechanical abilities, and a hefty tool belt, is always is of interest. If he has all that and a desire to please, well, I'm a goner.

Last night the chirping began at 1:30 am. The smoke alarm went off every 20 seconds indicating the alarm needed a new battery. Naked and rummaging though the junk drawer, I discover every other kind of battery, but no 9V. So, back to bed with my head smashed between two pillows, I count chirps like sheep. At 5:30 am, silence is a priority and I crawl up to pull out the battery. Not being mechanical, I did not know that the alarm continues to chirp without a battery. With no recourse, I pull on my clothes and madly race to Safeway, where I purchase a dozen batteries. From now on, I will always have a 9V in my junk drawer. As I pull into my driveway, I can now hear multiple alarms chirping in 20-second cycles.

While I believe that stopping hormones is a good idea. This morning I'm wondering the wisdom of it all. I feel the blood rush to my face and I instantly imagine myself running like a mad woman through the house beating each and every one of the alarms silent with a broom. The thought that I might set off the entire alarm system keeps me paralyzed. Now I start to cry.

The “Honey Do” man is my next call. I’ll pay the money. And I guarantee you that my first party question to that man of interest will be, “Say, are you mechanical?”

©2007